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What is the impact of divorce on child's psyche of the child

Розміщено : 26-01-2017, 00:31 | Категорія: Psychology | Переглядів: 200   
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What is the impact of divorce on children? Because of the decision of two adults to leave and start life with a clean slate sometimes obviously, sometimes imperceptibly suffers third man — child. Often in the heat of emotion or in the struggle for property and child support parents do not rush him to explain anything. "Mom and dad think their divorce only, adult, problem, while children are left alone with her," says psychologist Natalia kukhtina. Parents are not even aware that a split in the family can affect the whole future life of the child. But, fortunately, the situation can be mitigated.

Stress increasing

Parental divorce has on the psyche of children as the earthquake on the building, unable to resist the quaking rock. Everything eventually turns into ruins. No matter how many years Chad, 2, or 15: for him, the parents breakup is always stressful with impact both at present and in the future.

It is a mistake to think that the child is 2-3 years old doesn't know anything about the relations of the two most intimate people. Instead of words, his feelings can result in frequent disease, diathesis, neurodermitis or atopic dermatitis. Children are protected from the passions of skin — barrier between the internal and external world. The list of defensive reactions tend to become irritable and anxious.

Ages 3 to 5 years, when all of life is mom and dad, leaving the family some of the parents may completely discourage the child's desire to learn about the world. Even fidget becomes closed up and a coward, afraid of the dark, being alone, strangers.

First-graders (6-8 years) are already starting to realize that such a divorce, and trying to give him an explanation. Oddly enough, they often find the cause of the incident in itself, or rather, in his disobedience, whims or bad grades. Psychologists call it the guilt complex, which gives rise to all sorts of fears, insecurities, tendency to neurosis and depression in the future. Example? Please: my girlfriend's dad Julia was not ready for the birth of his daughter. He left the family when she was a year old — since Julia's father is not seen. And for the first time that happened she thought in 6-7 years: no dad in the house and the family photos gave the girl the idea that her mother was adopted. Anxiety made Julia even to audit in the documents. And only after the interrogation "with passion" mother the child has calmed down.

According to opinion polls, over 65% of six-year-olds hope for a quick reconciliation of the parents, that everything will be as before: mom, dad and me. But the optimists among teenagers are already four times smaller: parents ' divorce, the students react violently — only the death of someone from relatives or friends able to shake them more. Low self-esteem and performance in school, problems with peers and aggression is a typical reaction to new circumstances of life.

But there is a silver lining: if family haven, and excite a storm in the form of constant quarrels and findings-out of relations, the breakup of father and mother will protect the child from psychological trauma.

Life personal

It would seem that the mode of "father (mother)" a weekend in the future will teach your child to protect his family as the Apple of his eye. But the American scientists came to a disappointing conclusion: we grew up in such conditions people the seal in the passport of divorce is more than the other. This phenomenon is called cycle of divorce, implying the transfer of the relevant installation from generation to generation. The separation of the parents becomes a kind of inoculation, after which the partners are not afraid to break the relationship and start all over again.

As a rule, the child remains with the mother. If it's a boy, his future wife first will be a hard casting from the hypothetical mother-in-law, because the son listens to in his home a woman's life. Girls are often the installation of "our father left us" stand in your personal LIFE: it is difficult to build a relationship with the opposite sex. If they add up, ladies usually do not trust loved ones, they require attention or are so afraid of betrayal and sacrifice their interests, which ultimately encourage the pious to free relations with other women.

But children of divorced parents — great leaders before they start their career, not afraid of difficulties and eventually reach financial prosperity and public recognition.
Not captain

The biggest misconception parents have decided to separate, — a confidence that is just their problem. As a rule, adults do not explain anything to the child — just put it before the fact. This behavior forms the offspring of the aforementioned guilt complex. Indeed, year-old baby it is hard to explain what is happening, but still in a difficult period gap do not allow the tense situation at home — often take the crumbs on his hands, generously ocypete kisses. If the child is over 3 years old, each parent should talk to him. The best words are "me and daddy love you very much. But we are now going to live separately. You are not to blame, each of us will be your parent FOREVER."

It is impossible to prevent contact between the child who left home and loved — so you make your kid a banal tool of revenge. The weekend visits should be regular, able to communicate with the father (mother) is a constant. There is nothing more stupid than the answer (and the question you will sooner or later hear) my father was a captain or member long-term space mission. The child grows up, the secret will be revealed and lies will become a normal variant. Replacement of the previous family traditions, for example, Saturday trips to the movies or the joint holiday by the sea, should come new classes separately with mom and with dad separately. If to maintain the visibility of the relationship, it will create the illusion of a family, give hope that parents will once again be together.

How the child survive divorce depends on the behavior of the mother. For example, Julia has never heard her mother crying, complaining about life or blaming the father of all mortal sins. That is why the girl grew calm and balanced.
Appearance and cactus between the beds

It turns out that daughter from full families more attractive and feminine than the girls of divorce parents. This pattern has interested British scientists from the University of St Andrews. The participants of the experiment who were asked to show "the most charming and attractive", I opted for photos of women who grew up with mom and dad. Interestingly, the least beautiful ladies, whose parents constantly fought, but maintained a family for the kids. The reason probably lies in the fact that from-for endured stress in the body "daughters of divorce" elevated levels of the male hormone testosterone, and it adds the beautiful half of humanity of womanhood.

In the second study, subjective assessment of the photos was replaced with numbers — body mass index and the parameters of the figure. And this time the results were confirmed: the extra inches on the waist unerringly pointed to the daughters of divorced parents.

By the way, scholars had proven that girls from single-parent families before period, sex life, and, accordingly, they are more likely to give birth during adolescence.
Continued on the next page

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