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What to do when kids had a fight and how to react to quarreling parents

Розміщено : 26-01-2017, 00:37 | Категорія: Pregnancy and children | Переглядів: 2795   
Watch the video at the end of the article
Do not rush children to separate. Children quarrel is necessary and even useful

Imagine a child who has never been in a fight and not even fighting. It turned out so. Itself calm, the parents educated and soft, and my grandmother always said, "don't pull on the flower — it is painful." Florida got lucky and got a great school the teachers are so well-built educational process that no conflicts arose.

In General, the ideal conditions to grow the perfect child. But...

Anxious for him, very disturbing. What happens when he finally gets into the real world? The probability that he will be surrounded by such loving, caring people, equal to zero. Conflicts, quarrels, aggression, lack of understanding is an integral part of life in the adult world, and from time to time with all that faces each of us. Someone knows how to treat and how to behave. And for some it will be a real stress. And the child who loved everyone and was a friend to all, just feel the shock in the first day of my real life.

So give your children from time to time to fight. But this does not mean just stand by and watch. Children's quarrels require attention, analysis and — still — some of your participation.

The brothers quarrel with sisters and Vice versa

Conflicts between children in one family — a very unpleasant sight. It contradicts our ideas about what should be children. Of course, most importantly, that we are concerned about how they will live on, after all, kinship, whatever you say, the closest. It gives a sense of calm, stability, harmony in life. Will there be harmony, if the younger has just scratched senior, and he called him all the curses and said that until he was born, all was much better.

Really do not worry. Feud of the brothers and sisters of love and good feelings does not exclude and has many positive. For example, it is the work with a sense of jealousy, because one of the root causes of the confrontation — the struggle for parental love. Children growing up in a family with siblings, quickly, before you know it, undivided attention of one person to another can not be, and interest close to someone else does not mean the collapse of relations.

Parent participation:

1. Don't react (much). Behave as if everything is in order. Otherwise it is possible that your quarrel the children will use as a means of manipulation. It is known fact that even in one family, children behave differently in the presence of different adults. While sitting with dad, friends, how came the mother shout and make trouble. Just turn on the mother emotionally, with her fighting more interesting.
Quarrels kids on the Playground

They cause great concern. First, because a lot of children there and we all have different norms of behavior, all from different families. Second, everything happens in full view of a large number of adults and, therefore, is actively discussed. There are times when children quarrel degenerated into battles mothers and grandmothers, and all the kids stand and stare. What to do? It is necessary to protect your baby from the child that "it is not clear who actually brought up that catches people". Or to protect your active little one who has to play "introverted reclusive neurotic, which is impossible to approach". What can be use? Very big. The Playground is a society. Here and those who have managed to become friends, and those who only appeared today. Girls and boys of different ages, with different personalities and habits. That is a society in miniature. It was there that the child learns everything that he will need in adult society.

Parent participation:

1. Do not try after a quarrel "transfer" of the child to a different Playground. That is the use of arguments, to pass all their stages, from the conflict situation to reconciliation. And he will do it all by myself without your help.

2. If you're after "dismantling" the children had a fight with someone's mother is, of course, a bad example. Now show good. Make peace with it or at least take the first step towards. Friendliness and the ability to defend their interests-not mutually exclusive qualities. Here's what your example will learn the baby.
When fighting former friends

Yesterday they were best friends, and today Olga and Tanya is not playing. Because something terrible happened to Tanya in the morning played with Lena, and she had a new doll, and they didn't call Olya. "Well, is it possible for such nonsense to quarrel with the best friend? — outraged mother. — Go and ask her birthday." We know how nice it is to be friends, and really want to have children, too, were real good friends. But how to explain to them that sometimes for the sake of friendship and you can give something, and forgive the small offense? Just impossible to explain, but arguing that they are approaching a deeper understanding of the value of such a relationship. Five-year-old can still fight "forever" because the game got the role of Princess, not the Queen, but in seven years the child will think if you should be so fundamental. Again I will say "I'm not playing," twice more and will not be invited. Hurt friend for the fun of it, and there will be more such funny games. So, through the quarrel of friends, formed the ability to make friends. And stored almost for life.

Parent participation:

1. Avoid criticizing friends — no matter how they quarreled. Even young children can experience resentment if their friendship insult. Express neutral opinions about the arguments and the confidence that everything will work out.

2. Alternate the "right" and "guilty". If your children quarrel, scold today one, tomorrow — another. To understand what is worse — to hide a toy or say "Sashka fool", is impossible. Moreover, they do not expect a fair verdict. It is important to see equal treatment.

3. Do not try to judge all. Let the child himself will find a way out of a conflict situation. The girl who can't cope with brother power, learning feminine wiles. In life it is useful.

4. Do not expect that children will "outgrow" argument. Five years just fighting, Teens will make ironic comments and jokes on each other. In addition, quarreling siblings provide an excellent knowledge about the psychology of people and communication skills.

Quarrels with peers, learn social diligence — the child can learn the danger signals, consider them when you become more independent. In General, this is a great training on communication.
Children's quarrels as large

You can't see everything that is happening in the garden, and already that's a concern. But all I see educators. They are also in the child's behavior is judged on what is happening in your family. I don't want you to think that for you profanity is the norm. And, most importantly, it's actually true (not the norm), but the child somehow stubbornly says that word when he asked for a toy. Kindergarten is for a child almost like family. Here practiced norms and rules in force among the inner circle. Sadikova quarrel contribute to the ability to adapt to different situations and people. It's not a street where ' someone got into a fight, can not greet. In kindergarten, even with the worst enemy you can easily put in a couple.

Parent participation:

1. Ask the child about what happened, and very detailed. But can not stand his judgment immediately and try to do not very dramatic. This will promote frankness and further your contact. Otherwise, the desire to talk about their problems will disappear from the child completely.
What if the child is often in conflict?

We want our children to be peace-loving and was a friend to all. But for some reason this does not happen. Someone offends it, someone- him. How to help your child deal with the "enemy"?

1. If quarreling brother and sister (two sisters, two brothers — doesn't matter), give bad examples. Stories about the mythical brothers and sisters that are always holding hands and telling each other sweet words, will only cause a feeling of inferiority. But to know that fight all brothers and sisters, and even to hear about, as did you, very helpful.

2. If you think your child all the time offense, it will be examined. With you. It is possible that you carry at the present situation from your childhood. Give your child the opportunity to learn how to act, not to impose their conclusions.

3. If the baby picks a quarrel in the garden, think about relationships in the family. If a child is kept in tight rein, in the garden, he gives vent aggression that accumulates at home.

4. Bring to the child some of the prohibitions. For example, it is impossible to push someone smaller in stature, to throw sand in the face. So you protect not only other children but her.
Continued on the next page

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