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What to do if a child annoyed and exasperated

Розміщено : 26-01-2017, 00:33 | Категорія: Pregnancy and children | Переглядів: 99   
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If the child is annoying

All kids do it — Huff. What to do with anger or a child who... well, just brought?!

Some mothers do nothing about it. Just ones. So saying (or rather shouting): "How can? Stop it now! You've already brought!", as well as being spanked, put into a corner, pull the hand away in the other room. Irritation after this passes, but my mom's getting worse. Because instead of anger at child has a sense of guilt and dissatisfaction: "Well, how could I! He is still a child... how can a normal mother to experience such feelings for their own children... ".

The famous American psychologist EDA Leshan, in the book "When your child drives you crazy" gives an example from his own life when she was afraid to go into the room to the little girl because she was crying and could not calm down. She was afraid that I will keep and will begin to shake or beat, because I felt at that moment real hate. Of course, this cannot be an excuse for parents who do not follow their actions in a situation of anger. We can not control emotions, but can control behavior. How?
Situation 1

Olga, mother of six-month-old Misha: "We're normal parents, we planned the baby and were very happy when he was born. But then it all went wrong. The son never for a minute does not remain one day, always wants to be on hand. At night, he wakes up at six or seven times and sleeps during the day just for a walk. The doctor says he's fine and that I need to calm down. How can I calm down, if you already can't stand to hear children cry?"

Constant tension, fatigue, frustration (inability to realize their needs) are themselves irritating factors. So it's not so much the child, so much in fact, in what circumstances is the mother. It's worth it for one day (or even hours) to leave home and she feels she just cannot live without baby. But once again immersed in the worries, fatigue and a feeling of helplessness.

What to do?

1. Relax. The best way to cope with the neurosis of this kind is not. Let the rest time will be very short — the main thing that you the child is not seen and not heard. Even half an hour is allocated only for themselves, help to recover. By the way, and the breaks will be useful. Mom on the verge of a nervous breakdown can't give a sense of confidence and peace. The child also starts to get nervous and cry. A vicious circle.

2. To complain about his condition. First, people who can understand and friendly to you (mom, girlfriends, having children) — this will allow you to get rid of the feeling that you are a bad mother. Second, to the child. "I love you, but I find it hard. I'm mad at you. Be a good boy, play a little myself." Play the boy then, it might not be. But the General mood of his and his mother will improve. Even babies respond to the tone of voice, therefore, is able to "understand" everything you tell them. And as you know, said the problem is reduced in two times.

Situation 2

Alexander, mother of six-year-old Dasha: "Dasha is Dressed for an hour, and if looking at this TV, you may even forget that she dressed. And sitting with an open mouth and a sock. She eats the same way — slowly, somehow reluctantly. And draws as well, and even plays. This is horrible because one it kind of pisses me off. Once broke down and called her boiled chicken. Another time said she does everything, like a caterpillar. Myself for it I hate. But how you can safely treat? Only to leave the room and not watch. So by the way, I sometimes do."

Parents often annoying child with a different temperament. Subconsciously we want to see in children his own image, to be an example for them in both large and small. And even those qualities that are clearly not so bad, cause irritation. And this often causes conflict the family reunion — because the quality, most likely inherited from the other parent.

What to do?

1. To apologize, if not restrained and has told something superfluous. This should be done in any situation, regardless of cause irritation. Crudeness and rudeness should not be the norm. In addition, it is in early childhood you form the child the norms of family behavior. You don't want in a few years he said the same thing to you?

2. To get used to the idea that the child just is what it is. And find him to be good. What is slowness? This thoroughness. What is crying? It's a sensitivity, vulnerability, delicate Constitution. And so on.

The Situation W

Elena, mother pathfilename Anton: "Every Sunday ends with the fact that I'm yelling at the child. I'm not crazy, just in the evening the son returned from my grandmother — my ex-mother-in-law. Begins: "Mom, get me toys, you two didn't do anything", "All the children read, do you think I don't care", "Why do you spend money that dad gives you?" I understand, of course, where he is recruited. But to hear it from the child unbearable. Must also understand that it is impossible to repeat nonsense!"

It's not just irritation from injustice. It is also jealousy. Child puts your credibility in question, will believe someone else, so more in love with him. Parents in these situations feel out of control. Besides, understand that, they show their anger openly, all this could turn against them. A child next time be sure to tell grandma, as his mother scolded.

What to do?

1. Pity the child. Imagine how hard it is when people are manipulating you, trying to impose their views and make a party to the conflict. From this position, and listen to everything he says. The less emotionally you react to the situation, the less all this will annoy you.

2. Tell him it like it is, answering the questions. And also without any particular emotion. "In those days I had a lot of work, so I was very busy. A grandmother says so, because that's not very nice to me". Children need an explanation of adult actions — so they are better attuned to the situation, better understand that you can say, and what not.
Tip 1. Be honest

Do not try to get rid of emotions and not hide from them. It takes too much mental strength, the result is even greater feelings of guilt and irritation. Accepting what is, on the contrary, reduces tension, lets not think about the problem constantly.
Tip 2. Be gentle with the baby

Hug, even if you don't want. And don't think about how you improve the relationship -just live a normal life, socialize and take care as best they can. Change in and of themselves. It is likely that for the better.
Tip 3. If you think that the child can be obnoxious on purpose, change the usual scheme of action

In the case of bad deeds not react too emotionally. But all good celebrate with joy, praise in a variety of ways. Disappear reinforcement of bad behavior — there is no need for you to irritate.
Continued on the next page

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